Burnt

i walk out from your eyes,
no will to say goodbye,
through the woods i walk,
absolutely no will to talk.

lost in the forest i wonder,
world of happiness i surrender,
i look around i see no way,
everything is rough everything is gray.

and then you,i see
the only bright colour to me,
but you are gone forever,
you dont wish to see me ever.

'coz you have found someone,
i am to you gone and done,
my eyes still crave your smile,
my heart can still wait for a while.

now that i know we are to part,
i wish not to see you and i change my path,
dont know where ill be gone,
but to you ill be forgone.

now hoping to see something bright,
in this dull and dark and sad night,
another day gone another lesson learnt,
ill put you on this paper which will be burnt.

take care sweety...

I feel miserable right now ,and when i talk to, it feels like you don't want to talk to me. I feel like being used and not yet thrown... what is it that you still crave?what is that you want from me now?now that i am doing what you want me to, you are not liking it, i am going according to you but you don't know what u really want from me.

What i have realized is dat staying away from is actually helping me through,i know that i don't love you,it is just an infatuation, and it will soon be over, and i want that soon to be very soon, i haven't told i like you though, you might not think that i actually like you because the way we talk makes it look like a very healthy and friendly relationship, you think i am a good friend of yours, but i know its my mistake that i have not told you about how i feel.As i was saying what i have realized is staying away from you is actually helping me through getting rid of your thought, the more i do not talk to you , the more i do not miss you.

Another thing that i realized was that i can pretend very well. if you are reading this you might not know its for you, because the way i pretend to be your friend explains how good i am. Manipulating you is another thing that i know,if i tell you its not for you, you will believe me, so basically i can pretend and manipulate you. i am happy that i am good at something , otherwise i am no good in anything that might have helped me create a nice bond with you.

I know you look for a few good qualities in men you are interested in, he should be tall dark and handsome , being physically strong could be another quality, i know i am neither tall, nor dark, nor handsome and i am definitely not physically strong ... but one thing i could have guaranteed was, i could have helped you through any situation , anything, i could have been there when you would need me the most but sadly i am not good enough for you.

But again as i have realized it was just an infatuation and i can get over it , ill try my best not talking to you, i will be in a miserable condition but that for a fact is sweet misery for me, i still like you , but i don't like myself liking you now. if you are in case wondering why i have resulted in ignoring you, its just that i know i am a friend of yours and i cant see you in any kind of situation which you don't like , and of course because i feel like just another guy in your life who is getting after you and irritating you. i know you need a little more space than required so i think this is it. you will still not be able to make out that i am ignoring you or this very note i am writing is for you, but i know that you will be (hopefully) a lot happier then before.

i am feeling relieved now that i have put my feelings here, you take good care of yourself... stay happy .

( i wrote this for someone dear to me... when i told her the reality that i had written this for, things changed, and we haven't been talking since then)

A cloud of emotions

"i love you"
now this statement could mean anything....
it all depends on how u say it.....
it could be enough to make someone cry
or enough to make someone
cry the tears of happiness...
but wen i say it.... to you...
i know i haven't yet though...
but whenever i say it...
it's going to be meaningful...
i yet don't know what this means...
i yet don't know how would you react to it...
but i am pretty sure you will not be very happy about it...
then u would turn around and walk away...
i still won't know how would you be feeling...
the very situation could get me dumbfounded...
not because you hated me...
but instead "how could you hate me?" would be the question...
i know ... and i would know the problem would be in me...
you are just like a picture clicked once...
which I'd sit down and admire everyday...
and wish to be there in that picture ...
what i would ignore is that smile in that picture was temporary...
and was meant to have just that picture nice... and nothing else....
the reality is overshadowed by my illusion ....
rather a delusion of you actually interested in me...
even if there was an illusion....
it would be you being the perfect one...
but again....
its just a lie...
what i need to do is open my eyes a bit wider...
to see the reality.....
but surprisingly that illusion has a great impact on me ...
I'd still love to be illusioned...
but facing things is inevitable...
I'd know truth now...
but I'll still be driven crazy by your thought....
you know I'd miss you more....
I'd miss each and every lie ...
it made me happy then...
just like drugs...
the effect is temporary but...
it's good...
and you are not even harmful ...
or at least you dont look dangerous...
getting over you would not be a big deal...
but it's just that i don't see a reason to do that...
i'd be happier this way...
i'd be happier missing you...

the kiss...

walking on an arcade,
in a bedlam,holding hands,
things were still complaisant,
yet difficult to understand.

walking by the peddlers,
waving through the dust,
not leaving her hand throughout,
'tis medley of love and lust.

jumping over the pits,
and stomping over the weed,
she looked at me and smiled,
irresistibly taking the lead.

she took me to this corner,
unnoticed in a street,
impinged me to the wall,
accelerating my heartbeat.

her arms girded me,
like her body i clasped,
she quivered in silence,
with a subtle distraught in her breath.

i could hear her whisper
the unhindered words,
she sounded embittered
yet sweet like the birds.

she shriveled unto me,
and i hid her in my arms,
i plunged in a trance
like the unspoken charms.

she looked up to me
a few more words she hissed,
her tender lips stopped
to which ...i kissed.

i kissed her fears out,
and i knew that 'twas love,
unnoticed we stood there,
just like the exultant doves.

Like the smiling joker...

let me live in my ensconced bubble,

away from hideous and laborious trouble,

cherished in my delusions alone,

like the smiling joker juggles.



exotic melancholy and disdained men,

rule this annihilated world again,

indifferent in my cocoon i am,

yet these hypocrites hold the pen.



the demure recedes and become despised,

the day proceeds and becomes the night,

i wander in my bubble again,

like darkness hiding from the light.



snatch me from this world of blind,

or rather make me a wunderkind,

help me fathom thou reproaching world,

or perfect this breathless art of thine.



let me live in my ensconced bubble,

away from hideous and laborious trouble,

cherished by my delusions alone,

like the smiling joker juggles.

mirage

impolitically acquitted fraternity,
with a stubborn trembling hand,
rising towards illusions,
like the mirage on the sand.

sheep await to follow,
the self illusioned man,
yet they stay silent,
waiting for his command.

i want to shake those sheep ,
and wake them into men,
and give them the apple,
of glorious wisdom again.

the magician is yet better,
the shepherd being followed,
he knows that 'tis all fogus,
unlike shepherd being so hollow.

we need some great men,
to break graves and come alive,
'tis like expecting prodigy,
from the poor infertile.

thus i pray to thee oh god!
i pray to thee 'tis true,
save this fraternity of ours,
'coz all we have is you.

pretense

as i smiled at your happiness,
i smiled at my tears,
you were lost in illusions,
and i was bound by my fears.

you worshiped merriment,
and i worshiped love,
my pretense was your contentment,
which cut my hurt and hurt.

to me you were a friend,
a loyal one indeed,
i was just a false pretense,
in which you still believed.

'friends' for me was nothing,
just a mere excuse to be,
close to your presence,
your angel eyes I'd see.

i pretended throughout ,
to entice you close to me,
but my sacrifice helped not,
'coz all you wanted was 'he'.

your thought is as good a poison,
i need to save myself from me,
I'd walk out of the door of time,
and find someone for me.

the last piece of art...

the last piece of i art i saw,
snatching every breath of mine,
detailed until perfection shook,
was her face that left me crying,

in this unknown world i stood,
my thoughts shouted quietly,
a part of me was what i lacked,
my thoughts jumped in serenity.

none listened to the words i cried,
angels sat and smiled at me,
others noticed my bloodshot eyes,
compared their secluded lives mith me.

"is there not a human left
on this blessed planet earth
to wipe the tears of her eyes?
a divine light of little worth?"

her last smile curled in pain,
her hair when blew it blew in deft,
her happiness walked down in vain,
her whispers stopped when she left.

the last piece of art i saw,
snatching every breath of mine,
detailed until perfection shook,
was her face that left me crying...

dreamy eyed ...

she walked across the droplets,
smiling at each of them,
barely lost in fog,
those pearls chilled her skin,

she strode throughout bare feet,
on grass and dew distilled,
walking through the field,
across the floating crystals.

she wore a white gown,
a hat to go with it,
her hair so soft and free,
let crystals rest on it.

she wasn't really sure,
of what had made her smile,
the love for nature or nature's love
that made her walk a mile.

she let go of herself then,
with a dreamy eye she stood,
her eyes emitted love,
and captured everything it could.

i sat next to a rock,
holding a pen in my hand,
writing everything i saw,
on this paper now barely blank.

Senses...

The smiles are slowly fading off

emotions tired enough to sleep

thoughts are slowly walking to

the tears and solitude they seek



indifference crawling in my eyes

distorts the colors and the dreams

ignorance deafening my ears

quiets the inner soul it seems



The inevitable tragedies

sting my tongue and make it bleed

i cant taste the smiles again

and this pain tastes just like greed.



the hearts so cold block my nose

making it hard for me to breathe,

to smell the beauty and calmness

and innocence that rests beneath



once your love had given me life,

now its gone and never will come

what do i do with all my senses lost

your blushing ego has made me numb.