pretense

as i smiled at your happiness,
i smiled at my tears,
you were lost in illusions,
and i was bound by my fears.

you worshiped merriment,
and i worshiped love,
my pretense was your contentment,
which cut my hurt and hurt.

to me you were a friend,
a loyal one indeed,
i was just a false pretense,
in which you still believed.

'friends' for me was nothing,
just a mere excuse to be,
close to your presence,
your angel eyes I'd see.

i pretended throughout ,
to entice you close to me,
but my sacrifice helped not,
'coz all you wanted was 'he'.

your thought is as good a poison,
i need to save myself from me,
I'd walk out of the door of time,
and find someone for me.