A cloud of emotions

"i love you"
now this statement could mean anything....
it all depends on how u say it.....
it could be enough to make someone cry
or enough to make someone
cry the tears of happiness...
but wen i say it.... to you...
i know i haven't yet though...
but whenever i say it...
it's going to be meaningful...
i yet don't know what this means...
i yet don't know how would you react to it...
but i am pretty sure you will not be very happy about it...
then u would turn around and walk away...
i still won't know how would you be feeling...
the very situation could get me dumbfounded...
not because you hated me...
but instead "how could you hate me?" would be the question...
i know ... and i would know the problem would be in me...
you are just like a picture clicked once...
which I'd sit down and admire everyday...
and wish to be there in that picture ...
what i would ignore is that smile in that picture was temporary...
and was meant to have just that picture nice... and nothing else....
the reality is overshadowed by my illusion ....
rather a delusion of you actually interested in me...
even if there was an illusion....
it would be you being the perfect one...
but again....
its just a lie...
what i need to do is open my eyes a bit wider...
to see the reality.....
but surprisingly that illusion has a great impact on me ...
I'd still love to be illusioned...
but facing things is inevitable...
I'd know truth now...
but I'll still be driven crazy by your thought....
you know I'd miss you more....
I'd miss each and every lie ...
it made me happy then...
just like drugs...
the effect is temporary but...
it's good...
and you are not even harmful ...
or at least you dont look dangerous...
getting over you would not be a big deal...
but it's just that i don't see a reason to do that...
i'd be happier this way...
i'd be happier missing you...